Level Up

As I mentioned in the "About Me" section of my blog, one of the things I enjoy is playing silly games on my phone. Currently, my top 3 are Pets Unleashed, Cookie Cats, and Nibblers. They all have the same concept as Candy Crush, but with a cute little animal twist. I was on that Candy Crush bandwagon and reached level 1011 before giving up. 

I put Candy Crush back on my phone the other day and played level 1011, after nearly two years of being away. Guess what? Level 1011 is still impassible. I was stuck on level 191 in Nibblers and was having thought of deleting the game because I had finally reached a level that I couldn't pass. Then guess what? I cleared the level! 

It occurred to me that these type of games are how I view my current situation. Yesterday I wrote about being unable to find work, even though I have a very marketable skill set. I would be honored to have me. But I think that my life has been about "leveling up." I have always tried to find the starting point and the end point, and each step in between, forming a strategy in my head. Getting my Master's degree, that was a "level up" choice. I would think that two Bachelor degrees were enough. However, if you want to get anywhere in social services, one needs a Master's and a license. 

Some of my choices have been to make others proud. I felt that I should be successful because then others would see my worth. I have always dreaded turning 40, but when I did, a miraculous thing happened. I stopped caring. That feeling became even better at 41. I didn't stop caring in the typical ways one should care. I still hold doors open for little old ladies, say please and thank you, defend others, and act with kindness and compassion. I just stopped caring about how far I should go to reach the next level. There are jobs I have worked where I have known people who have been there for five years and I have wondered how they do it. I'm bored after a year and ready to move onto another level. I don't know what that says about me. Maybe I haven't found my passion, maybe I'm just not content. But whatever I choose to do, I have realized that another person's opinion cannot play a role in my choices. 

I cleaned the house yesterday, but my son is a fan of taking his clothes off and dropping them wherever. There are Legos on the floor. There are shoes everywhere because we have an upstairs again, and upstairs equals lazy.  Goal for today: Level up on things that make a difference in someone else's life. 

Also, Cookie Cats level 313. I have persistence and the patience of Mother Theresa. Watch your back gophers. I will clear the level.