Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Two Weeks Later

So I really thought I shouldn’t leave people hanging after that last post and write a follow up. I did a podcast for a friend’s show recently and she asked me to talk about it.

I discovered that part of the last blog post was at least somewhat of a social experiment. Allow me to explain.

When someone dies by suicide, we are quick to post the hashtags, the condolences, the prayers, and posting those God awful 1-800 numbers and “please copy and paste to demonstrate someone is always listening.” Ughhhh. I cannot express enough that when you are that low, you aren’t reaching for the phone and you’re not reaching for Facebook. I had a few friends who called and texted. THAT. That is what’s needed. The human contact, the love, taking my mind off the horrible circumstances in which I found myself. That’s not really the first time. Typically the small, insignificant feelings come during the in-between. When I can’t see the light and the path is not even dimly lit and I can’t gather a spark of hope. Who was there during the in-between and not the after the fact?

People checked on me for about a week. I guess they think I’m fine now. I guess that I am.

This experience also taught me to be a better friend and check on those who I love. I have some friends going through some stuff, but sometimes I need to lean on you, to borrow your strength and rationality when I can’t find my way out of the dark forest of my mind. It’s not often my mind retreats into the dark corners, but when it does, I need you. My promise to those who love me, I know you’re listening, no copy and paste needed.

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