Well, now it's time to keep up with the blog. I have two blogs now. I started something this week that was something I wanted, but also something I'm nervous about. I wanted to take that step and start my own business, but I felt like something was holding me back. Some of you who know I quit my job as a residential drug counselor in June. I was immediately offered a job doing e-therapy about three days later from another company. I was ecstatic! I wasn't going to need to start my own business because everything I wanted was going to be right here. I could work at home, I could work in my pajamas, it was going to be great and I couldn't believe my luck!
So...some of you know the details on that, but for those of you who don't, let me fill you in. The guy was psyched to hire me. He acted super excited. He kept promising to send the paperwork to get me started but days would go by with me obsessively checking my email, only to find nothing. I'd send him a text, "Hey, psst...over here. Did you forget something?" A week later, "Psst...hey. Don't forget me!" and he'd promise to send it. So he calls me one day promising to send it, a month later.
I finally get it after several reminders to him. I mean, far be it for me to point out that had he had the paperwork on his computer, this mess could have been avoided in two clicks with an email....But I was determined to be ecstatic, it was my dream job, right? Now it's been 8 days and I've heard nothing. Not a peep after sending back the paperwork. I often would think to myself, why do I have to wait on someone else? I'm desperate here! Why do I need to be desperate? I'm smart, I have a Master's degree, why am I waiting at the mercy of someone else? Well...I figured that one out pretty quick. I find I operate best inside rules and regulations, although I despise them. My last job decided to take our two 15-minute breaks away and I have to say, I was not comfortable with that rule at all. I was done with other people's rules.
I went back and forth. Positive to negative. Just do it or just don't do it. I took a brief course in life coaching and realized it's what I was doing everyday and they weren't teaching me anything I didn't already know and that I already wasn't doing with my clients. I noticed that I began to sleep, eat, and breathe my potential business. I Googled things like, "How to know if I should start my own business." I prayed. But without all my comfortable rules and regulations, I felt like a piece of algae being swept along by the river with no tether to the shore.
Thursday was my depressed day. I have to allow myself a couple days to be antisocial and sit under a blanket on the couch doing nothing. I don't know if it's a holdover from my mental illness days, but I still do it on occasion. I didn't shower, I sat on the couch in my p.j.'s under a blanket. I took naps, and didn't answer anyone's texts. I was convincing myself I couldn't do it. I'm not good enough. I'm comfortable where I'm at. Blah blah blah.
Friday I rolled out of bed, showered, and got dressed. I began to make a website. I felt great, and I knew I had to do it or stop talking about it. These were skills I already had. I had to take it and run with it, or continue to let others decide my fate by waiting for employers to get back to me.
I worked on the website a little more today, it looks pretty good. Worked on the Facebook page. Wrote three blog entries, and now here's number 4 for my other readers.
I'm doing it!
If you feel so inclined, you can check out my new baby project and book appointments. I also am doing free 15-minute consultations to see how I can help you work through any issues that are holding you back, and you do not have to live in the same state since I will do over the phone, email, or text. I do not provide therapy or diagnosis.
http://kmassey09.wixsite.com/website
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