So I've been on medication for a little over a year now for just about every anxiety diagnosis in the DSM-V. I'd been doing so well I thought I'd take it every other day to conserve until my doctor's appointment. Ok, taking it every other day wasn't so bad, I was still feeling pretty good. Then...I forgot to take it the next day. Still ok. Then today, THREE days without it. I mean, I was doing great! After all, I'd been thinking about coming off if it, I didn't want to be dependent on it.
So my husband and I went Christmas shopping today. Went to T-Mobile and they had the Fitbit Charge on sale! I'd been wanting to upgrade my Flex so my husband bought me a nice purple one. I couldn't wait to try it out. So around 4:00 I start feeling a little weird. I thought it was some extra caffeine. So we get home, I charge my Fitbit and I'm still feeling off. Finally it's done charging and I get to put it on and this one is cool because it has the heart rate monitor. Boy was I wrong.
Two hours later I'm obsessively checking my heart rate and then checking out Web MD for a normal heart rate. Then I'm asking all my family members to test theirs. I laid on the couch trying to lower my heart rate from 85. All I'm thinking about is my heart, and enlarged hearts, I swear I can feel my pulse screaming through my body and then I'm thinking, "Yeah, way to go three days off your meds!" I'm starting to feel the good old crazy setting in and my anxiety is through the roof. I'm pretty sure I looked all calm and collected on the outside but my hypochondria was tapping me on the shoulder whispering, "Hey...guess what? I think you're starting to feel a little sick."
Worst Christmas present ever! Anxiety and panic all wrapped up in a sweet purple wristband.
I asked my husband if he wanted to trade and give me back my Flex. He suggested I take my medicine.
I should've asked for a purse instead.
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